Expressions

How tough it is to express whatever you feel, without virtually considering other people’s reaction in our mind? Recently I came across several people with such dilemma. And if you ask me, it’s quite tough. Tough enough to laden your mind with ever ending thoughts. Recently I have been thinking what makes people go in such intense thoughts and subsequent fear.

Putting my thoughts into it, I came across a word called ‘Doxophobia – the fear of expressing one’s opinion’. Ever wondered, what would be inside the head of such a person; battling between a ‘yes’ and a ‘no’ or logical derivations ranging from ‘if’, ‘then’ and ‘but’. But what actually lies underneath this superficial fear? Probably a more deeply piled up fear.

Primarily I came across was the fear of being judged. ‘What people will think’ becomes a giant question for us. Probably reason for such fear is ‘isolation’ factor. People who have been side-lined or could never have been a  part of the big picture despite of their extreme efforts are very prone to it. They fear that the judgemental mentality of people will again isolate them, taking away again what took so much effort to assemble. The mere thought of ‘isolation’ shows entire glimpse of the past entrapped in void space. A part of us refuses to visit that past again, and again.

Another form of fear comes in form of ‘respect’. When we respect somebody, it’s hard to put forward a thought which the second person would be reluctant to understand or probably deny; as they expect us to go by their ideology. There may be another aspect of this. In this case we try to push ourselves off the limits to earn a fraction of respect we dedicate to them. We get over-cautious with our actions; focusing on 'what not to do' list to save the little earned respect and with the due passage of time we turn into a dull subject for the other person. The individual we respect most is the same we are most reluctant to lose. We wish to uplift our stature but we can’t put our current stature in jeopardy. Being at current position seems much affordable than risking it all. Taking risk gives us even chances but somehow it seems ‘odd against us’. That’s a big chasm we fear to jump and neglect to express.

The last phase of fear is where we are bound to obey, i.e. we don’t have an option to have an opinion; where we fear of the catastrophic results which may follow. Such scenario may arise in case of dependency or being helpless. Loss of job, basic amenities or not having luxury of other option fixates us in such fear.

No matter how much we deny, there exists a bit of fear inside us, may be in any form, which we face while expressing. And away from all these fear, all we seek is one individual who can understand what we need to express without even blinking, uttering even a word out. As if things don’t need to be explained to them. We seek one place of solace; a shoulder to lean on, where communication needs silence as a medium and we don’t need to explain things. Expression goes beyond the boundary of words. As if they must know that expressing has never been our best ground.

May be its way too hypothetical with the current scenario.